Couples Counseling
in Arvada, CO
How does Couples Counseling Help?
Couples counseling will help you learn effective strategies to build a stronger relationship. Two people can learn to address unresolved conflicts, start to communicate in a healthy way, and increase intimacy. Even the best couples need a little help sometimes. When you are feeling hurt, misunderstood or can’t seem to find a way to talk reasonably, couples therapy can help you heal and create a happier relationship for the future.
Can we get back to being the Happy Couple?
Relationships rarely fall apart overnight. Disconnection happens slowly, one misunderstanding at a time. Bad habits form, and small hurts pile up. Life is busier now, work and parenting take time and energy. The to do list is never done. The relationship takes a back seat. Before long, you’re just getting through the day instead of enjoying life together. Most couples don’t seek help for years and gradually they become more bitter, angry and resentful. You don’t have to keep struggling! As an experienced couples therapist, I will help you learn strategies to resolve conflict and create a more harmonious relationship.
You might recognize one of the scenarios below:
Couples Who Avoid Conflict
Some couples don’t deal with disagreements; they avoid addressing issues. You tell yourself, “It’s easier if we just don’t talk about it.” When a problem feels too big or too complicated, you distract yourselves with everything else instead — work, kids, social life, hobbies, TV, alcohol, or mindless scrolling. You remember the last time you tried to bring this up, and it didn’t go well, and you don’t want to relive that argument!
Unfortunately, when you have unresolved marital problems, the rest of the relationship can start to suffer as well. You begin to feel more distant, and then passive-aggressive comments sneak in. You start keeping score. Sarcasm replaces kindness. You find yourself sharing frustrations with friends rather than talking to your partner. Intimacy becomes strained or awkward – there’s no passion anymore. Maybe you don’t argue, but there just isn’t that closeness anymore.
Avoiding conflict doesn’t save a relationship — it gradually erodes it.
People who avoid conflict may have fewer fights, but the damage runs deep. Over time, bitterness grows, and the relationship becomes colder. There are ways to work through this! Couples Counseling can help you develop valuable communication skills, open up safely about difficult issues, and learn to resolve disagreements.
High-Conflict Relationships
Many couples argue all the time – from small nitpicking to explosive battles. Snipping over who is going to do the dishes suddenly erupts into anger. Words get harsh quickly. Old problems resurface. You go back to rehashing hurtful things that were said in the past. Accusations, defensiveness, shouting, or tears — the cycle repeats itself.
Ongoing conflict creates underlying tension, and it doesn’t take much for things to boil over. When things get bad, the word divorce gets thrown again out like a bomb. You yell angry words that you’ll regret tomorrow. Someone storms out, slamming the door. Nothing gets resolved, resentment hangs on for years, and bitterness increases.
Later, there are apologies, explanations, or just attempts to brush it off. You grumble to yourself and blame the other person. Eventually, bickering becomes a daily occurrence. Sarcasm sneaks in. You joke about what you’re mad at, but it’s not funny. You rationalize that “marriage isn’t always easy,” but this has gotten too hard. You’re tired of feeling angry and sad. Nothing changes. It’s time to get help to stop this negative communication!
High-conflict relationships are not healthy! It doesn’t have to stay this way. Marriage Counseling will help you turn down the temperature, understand what’s really underneath the anger, and learn skills to talk through disagreements in a healthy way.
Have Any Questions About Couples Counseling? Contact Me.
Couples Counseling is Common!
Research shows that most couples wait six years after problems start before starting Couples Counseling. Years of growing apart, building resentment, and holding grudges. It’s not too late to heal your relationship. You can work through this with help from an experienced professional.
Almost half of all couples report seeking couples counseling at some point in their relationship! (1) It helps to have someone else in the room who understands and can be neutral. You may have started as the “perfect couple”, but life has its challenges! Don’t let normal issues tear your relationship apart. Marital counseling might be the best investment you can make for your future.
What can Couples Counseling help with?
Whether your relationship feels distant and disconnected or full of anger and conflict, working with a couples therapist can help.
Couples counseling gives you the tools and support to:
- Communicate openly without fear or defensiveness
- Resolve long-standing issues and rebuild trust
- Manage conflict in healthy, productive ways
- Reconnect emotionally and physically
- Work through challenges around parenting, money, or intimacy
- Strengthen your partnership for the long term
Having an experienced couples therapist in the room changes everything. I help couples talk through issues that have never been fully addressed — whether that’s communication problems, money, intimacy, emotional distance, or infidelity.
What type of couples counseling is best?
No two couples are exactly the same – you have unique backgrounds and strengths. I use a combination of approaches with couples that fit who you are and your goals . We may use Gottman methods, Family Systems, behavioral techniques, communication skills, attachment theory, and even sometimes cognitive therapy. I will tailor couples counseling to your needs and relationship dynamics. I have been providing couples counseling for almost thirty years and will help you identify what we need to focus on quickly. You will learn practical strategies to resolve conflicts. We will practice healthy communication skills to help you start to understand each other again. Couples counseling will help you create a stronger relationship for a happier future.
It’s Normal to Have Questions About Working With A Couples Therapist…
Every time we try to talk, it turns into a blow-up. Isn't couples counseling going to make it worse?
Having an experienced marriage counselor in the room with you can make a difference. We will work on learning communication skills and help you learn to listen to each other. I will moderate discussions and help you learn healthy strategies for expressing feelings so that conflicts do not escalate.
Our last couple's therapist took sides and I felt blamed for everything. Why should I try this again?
I encourage both partners to take responsibility for their own actions. When both partners are accountable, this helps regain trust and strengthens your relationship. Most of the time, (except in situations of abuse) both people in a relationship have some responsibility for problems that have occurred. The focus of couples therapy is not to focus on blame or dwell on the past, but learning healthy ways to communicate and interact with each other to create a healthy relationship going forward.
We want this to get better, but we aren't sure it's worth the money.
It is helpful to think about couples counseling as an investment. What would your next vacation be like if you two aren’t squabbling the whole time? How much happier will your kids be if there is no tension at the dinner table night after night? How much money can you save if you can agree on financial goals? What is the value of genuinely looking forward to seeing each other at the end of the day?
Importantly, you are also paying for the experience of the therapist. Experienced therapists are more efficient and effective. I have worked with couples for almost three decades. I can help you identify the real causes of conflict more quickly, and help you heal your relationship for the long term.
Do you work with non-traditional couples?
I provide marriage counseling, but also work with many different types of relationships. This includes: pre-marital counseling, divorcing couples, LGBTQ couples, and non-married relationships. I work with divorced couples who want to improve their co-parenting. I also have experience working with non-monogamous/polyamorous relationships.
Call Today to Start Couples Counseling!
Take action today to start to resolove conflicts. Create a happier relationship and find more peace. Call today to schedule a free 20 minute phone consultation. I can answer any questions about Couples Therapy and we can get started soon!
(1) Lebow J, Snyder DK. Couple therapy in the 2020s: Current status and emerging developments. Fam Process. 2022 Dec;61(4):1359-1385. doi: 10.1111/famp.12824. Epub 2022 Sep 29. PMID: 36175119; PMCID: PMC10087549.
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