How do I cope with Difficult Changes?
Adjustment to big changes in your life can cause anxiety and make it hard to cope. It might be a move, it could be a change in jobs. A graduation, marriage, birth of a child. Often life changes are happy, expected, and yet still challenging. You can find your way through this and the first step is continuing to take action. When we are faced with anxiety, our instinct is to shut down, or freeze. While it can be beneficial to slow down, keep taking small steps. To adjust to challenging circumstances, instead of withdrawing, it helps to take action: keep living and interacting. Here are some positive coping skills you can use for dealing with life changes.
How do I find time to take care of myself?
We often hear this cliche’ advice to “take care of yourself”. However, when you are attempting to cope with the stress of adjustment, it can help to make wellness more of a priority. You are probably busy and feel you have no time for yourself. Self care can be something small, and it can be 15 minutes. It doesn’t have to be a 2 hour work out at the gym. It could be a short walk. Of course self-care is not only about exercise. You can take some time for relaxation or meditation. Allow yourself a little time to read a good book. Stretch or do yoga. Write about things you are concerned about, or write to an old friend. Listen to music you enjoy. Take your dog for a walk. Watch a funny show.
How do I deal with being alone in this transition?
When we are experiencing anxiety, we often feel alone. It can help to stay in touch with people you care about. Let someone know how you are feeling, or just reach out to say “hello!”. If you see someone in person, make an effort to stop and talk, sit and listen to what others have to say, ask question. Spend an extra few minutes talking, instead of rushing off to complete a task. If there is someone you haven’t heard from in a while, be the person to offer to get together, or leave them a message. Usually others are thinking of you, they are just busy also.
What could I do to help myself feel better?
For many people, being creative makes the day a whole lot better. Whether it is playing or singing music, making art, writing, building a piece of furniture or coming up with a new recipe – creativity is fulfilling on a deep level. You can use creativity just as an escape, and that’s ok. Creativity can also be helpful in expressing difficult emotions. Singing, writing or drawing about what’s going on internally is a healthy way to release stress and cope with tough times.Or, you may find a way to create something that can be a gift for someone. Being creative can also be done just for the sheer joy of whatever you are doing.
What if I don’t feel motivated to get things done?
Adjusting to new life changes can be exhausting, which makes it harder to start tasks that we need to accomplish. Try thinking about what it will feel like after you get done – use this as a motivator. Completing something small can help you get started. It doesn’t have to be anything exciting – just get something done. Do the dishes. Reorganize a drawer. Sort through some mail that has been sitting on the counter. Make one phone call you have been meaning to make. Procrastinating is an energy drain – take some action instead. You will feel better knowing you made some practical progress.
Why am I not having fun lately?
We don’t play enough as adults. Play more and you will start having fun, you just have to give yourself permission. Do a puzzle. Play ping pong, pool or darts. Play cards, dice or chess. Tell a joke, allow yourself to be silly. Make a boring task more fun by singing – or listening to music. It helps us feel better to interact with another human being. Of course, if you have kids, that is easy, take some time just to play a game with them. Teach yourself a silly dance you have seen online. Play tug of war with a toy with a dog. You don’t have to feel happy or want to play ahead of time, just do it.
Can I still dream about the future?
When we are going through a difficult time, it can tough to see a positive future. Allow yourself 20 minutes a day to dream again. Think about something you want to do when things get better. Where could you travel on that next vacation? It doesn’t matter if it is two years from now, let yourself fantasize a bit about that exotic location. If things were better right now, what would you be doing? Would you go back to school? Is there a hobby or activity that you haven’t taken time to participate in lately? Maybe life isn’t exactly what you want right now, dreaming about the future and starting to take action is one way to decrease your worries about what whatever is happening right now.
What if I can’t seem to do this on my own?
Adjusting to new life circumstances can cause a lot of anxiety. We can’t always figure out ways to cope on our own. If you are overwhelemed with worry, panic, or restlessness, anxiety counseling can help you find your way through. Call to Start Anxiety Counseling Today!
